Welcome to hell.

If you want to choose this prison as a sentence to pain, then so be it. There are other ways to spend your time here, and for me it is escaping to the mountains.

Life goes on. Things grow. People change. The thing that gets me out of the bed in the morning is my plans. I have plans to do some serious mountains. I need to train. I need to look after myself so that I am able to follow through with what has been set up. And this is what keeps me going.

The people I meet on a day to day basis here in BC is an eye opener. Daily. It is a non-stop deal. I am constantly reminded of my place, where I am, and what life can be to those who take it on their knees.

I love that I have the escape I do. My freedom here is self chosen, and by doing so I am giving up many luxuries that many could not deal with. I do not have a TV. A computer. Not even wifi. My days are spent on foot. I live this life, finding epic daily. I strive to have fun, but also be prepared.

Life is truly what you make it. This place is a prison, but it is the nicest one in the galaxy.

Software upgrade?

If your brain is a computer, and your pineal is connecting you to the grid, do you ever need a software upgrade?

The problem with this thinking, that we can somehow better ourselves with training, is that it is wrong. There is an issue within each of us. Such is the nature of humanity. The original sin if you will. We all are corrupt. If you love the bread, do you toss the whole bag when one piece has mold? If you have lived like I have, you don’t.

Every part of us is cherished. No energy can be created, nor destroyed. As many times as we, as this concious energy, have gone through the cycle, our energy is still here, hopefully growing.

We are hardly growing, or have not been. Things are changing. Times are different now. There is a hold, stagnation of sin. Stagnation of previous instinct. The Balance needed between community and the self is as ever present. The shedding of ego must go on for most of us, as we are a survival species, suffering from a catastrophic amnesia. To prevail in any hard time to come, the Balance must be found.

To find your balance on a wall, on a ridge walk, or in your life, it takes great strength. A strength that most of us do not have. Training will hardly improve us enough to make this work. Instead we must throw off the balance by leaning far past centre, into unknown territory, pushing past and letting go of the holds we feel comfortable in.

Am I training to let go? If that is a training at all, then yes. It is not always about a software upgrade to better ourselves, it is about removing the virus. Removing the limiter we place on ourselves.

Today I struggle. I am back to routine, but am dying for more. I feel like I need to be training more, yet there is nothing to be done but wait, reflect, and let go.


Today I ran barefoot. It was an experience that just happened. I take off my shoes from time to time on the trail. I did it as a kid, just not like this.

I reconnected with myself. I reconnected with nature. I reconnected with my roots.

The truth of the matter is that I was urged to do this while conversing with my favourite person in the world, if I could choose a favourite. She opened my mind, and I opened my heart to her words, and I ran. I ran while she talked. I jogged while I talked. After the conversation was done, I ran as hard as I could.

Four hours after leaving on foot from lunch, with flip flops on my feet, and nothing but my clothes, I returned home. I was not sore. I was not tired. I was alive.

Saturday Worship

How do you know you found what you were looking for?

The start here would be knowing what you are looking for. Often we know what is missing, but only from the absence. How do we know when we found the missing piece? How do we know the piece fits, as all things in life changes.

I found something this weekend and it was not myself nor my purpose. I can’t even tell you what I found, as it is not for you. Sense of our lives can only come from within. Although we are all one, and the same, the individuality of our nature is just as present.

I may know what I know, and know I am missing a lot, but it is not for me to determine the path I choose. We must all follow the path that is set in front of us. Fighting the current only wears one out, yet failure is a large part of the learning process. Life grows back stronger after the burn.

I have found a life. I have found a home. I have found a community. Or was it given to me? I certainly did not take it, nor is it mine to posses. I am a part of it, just as we are all a part of the grid. No longer do I care to rush my life. Time is all we have, but for me it is time to smell the roses. It is time for me to learn. I have a ton to learn, and there is such a short time to get it all in, but the slower you take it, the better the lesson sticks.

Life in the fast lane moves slower than the other, but the journey will take you places, and you won’t get lost.

Frankie say RELAX.

Finding the time for yourself. It seems a laughable task. Opening up to the world is difficult when the daily grind shuts down that part of our brains. It is Friday, and those of us who succumb to the work week lifestyle, it is time to relax.

What is relaxing? I am non-stop. Even when I lay down at night to ‘sleep’, I know my day is not over. The learning, the sorting, and the connecting that goes on at night can be just as tiresome as the day. So what is relaxing? I struggle to truly ever relax. The truth about relaxing is the comfort. You need to find where you are comfortable. Whether it is chatting with friends, or walking in the woods, there needs to be a time in your day when you can truly give in.

Relaxing may be about doing less work, and taking the break from the physical. It may also be taking a break from the mental. The spiritual world seems to choose when you get your breaks. The truth in relaxing is giving into your intuition. The programming that goes on in today’s world is shutting down this part of the mind. You work, you come home and shut off the brain with alcohol and TV. Then you repeat. There is truly no time to let it flow.

That is what I love about climbing. I am not a climber at all, and do not pretend to be. I am on a journey. Bagging peaks does not even begin to describe my motivations. Relaxing does. That may not make much sense as the body is under stress in alpine situations. Any bid for a worthy objective will push one to the limit. It is also when I feel the most free.

Currently I am in the woods. Surrounded by the burnt trees of last summer’s forest fires here in British Columbia. I have a ton of work to do this weekend felling trees. I will be trying to squeeze in some fun on a new cliff nearby as well. I am always striving to find the Balance in my life and this weekend I feel blessed.

Community, and extension of self, from within.

Waking up to the new light is hard. Comfort is cherished in this life and nothing can change that fact. Type II fun, is still fun in my book. I know it is the Left side in us that feeds off this. As a Cancer, I get off from being wronged naturally. Shedding that ego layer was more than just a tad bit of work.

Community from within? What do I mean by this statement. If you havr ever had the chance to share a trail with me, you will immediately come to realize that my speach is full of contradictions. This is done intentionally. I am not confused. Opposites are really just extremes of the same thing. Hot and cold are both describing temperature. Up and down are both descriptors of your vertical position. Sometimes to describe a feeling, you need both of these opposites.

The same goes with the solo (or small group) aspect of alpinism. This pretty much sits well with any sort of isolated venture. The more of a isolated venture, the more support is needed. Even the off-grid mountain liver, they rely on the community of non-human life around them. A community of human life with only offer more support for trade of goods and labour.

This may be a round about way of getting to my point here. I want you to think today. I want you to relate. Relate what I just said to your experiences. Your experiences are due to the concious energy withing you, giving you life, that you call your soul. All concious life is connected to the grid. I call this energy N. We are all N. We are all sharing the same concious energy here. All concious life. We are all the same. We are one.

The implications of this is that everyone is experiencing the same thoughts, it may not be the same train of thought as we are all individuals with our own ‘soul’ and set of experiences. The issue with thinking individually is that we are all of one energy. The more we work on ourselves individually, the more we share. Inspiration for the uninspired is not what I am talking about. I am talking about shared experiences.

Alpinism is about finding yourself. Some call it masochism. Some call it dangerous. I will not say it is not. The internal struggle that comes when making choices, life balancing ones, is the same in us all. The more we can be open, and in the ‘zone’, the easier we can flow and make these descisions correctly. The unseen result is the concious energy we all use to animated these bodies of dust gets enlightened, and we all benefit.

Go forth in your training. Community or solo. Go forth in your ventures, more than likely in groups, and know we are all at stages of the same growth. I will be doing the same.


This post was a long time coming. Thought about it on Thursday. Started it and lost it twice now. Community and alpinism.

Alpinism, from what I understand as a newbie, is the next level to mountaineering. Less gear, less time, and often solo or with the smallest team possible. Alpinism is a spiritual journey of self then? The true aspect of any solo venture of this nature is not just the, “I am leaving my car here and will be back on…”. It is about a community of like minded individuals, that you trust and know. Actually know. These people need to count on your judgement as much as you trust theirs.

Beta sharing is the start of it, then outings with others. You begin to learn who you can trust and who can learn to care enough to be safe in the backcountry. Route finding is not necessarily a key factor in someone’s ability to survive. Mountaineering is about survival first, technical climbing second. The majority of the objectives you would want in our Canadian Rockies are obtainable with a 5.6 rating ascent. That being said, climbing a 5.6 in the gym or crag is far different than doing a 12km approach, then scrambling and that 5th class wall with all your gear, possibly including a bivy. Weather condition not mentioned.

Community is necessary to have the support needed to stay safe. Information on conditions and routes is essential in order to be successful. Being sucsessful is also important due to that fact that being unsuccessful can mean death. Ultrathon runners need support more than any other, yet are on their own the most. There is a balance to be found in any venture of this nature.

The balance to what I am saying here is that, I, Happy Alfano, am a person who shares. And that sharing is necessary. When someone in a community gains experience, the resulting understanding of the world around us is not added to our conciousness, it is multiplied. Conditions, routes, safety tips, training, ect., is only the start of it. The inspiration that can spark the life in others is immeasurable.

I hope that my new understanding of community while venturing on backcountry ventures allows me to be safer and help others in a sustainable manner. I know that your support in your mind for solo athletes will be in a new light as well.