One month.

I have been writing, and it has been corrupted. The blogs I write never get posted and I feel like it is not completely my fault but something screaming at me from my subconcious to wait. It is one month until I am in the Columbia Icefields, and that means it is crunch time for training.

I finally made it to the local crag, the Esler Bluffs. I was told the entire day how the place was special to the long-term locals. How it holds a spiritual meaning almost, as their centre of community. The crew there is small and they are a tight family of support and strength. I was honoured to be invited and thankful for the belays.

The life here is simple. The people work, mostly for natural resources and government/park relations, and they climb. They care about the community and the well being of the land. And I stick out as a newcomer.

I am a newcomer to climbing, and a newcomer to the town. I currently am not working, just volunteering while training for my passion and my fun. I am treating this training for alpinism as a job, and take my time at the crag as a blessing. I have not settled in a place since moving into my car in 2016, and am more than ready to be back to reality.

IMG_20180528_220714_006

I have not been discussing my physical training much here, as I am not an expert in Kinesiology. I do discuss my training for the mind. As the spiritual journey of self and perseverance associated with climbing is half of the game.

The balance I am finding daily in my life is found as I follow my intuition and instinct. I am looking forward to visiting the crag again tomorrow and working on my skills in a practical way. The cycle that brings new experiences and challenges also brings healing, and my time of solo meditation is done. It is my time to move forward with respect and an open mind. I have one month until I begin my climbs in the alpine.

Dreams.

Last night I had a dream.

A real dream, not a lesson, not a meditation, not an astral projection, this was a dream.

In this dream I was in a crowd of others. Everyone was blank faced. We were being lead by adults down strange corridors. No windows. Everything was grey. Yet, these adults leading us down the maze of halls were not adults. I realized we were not kids, maybe children to them, but I was surrounded by other human adults.

The men leading us were huge. They were tall, strong, and their mental capacity was clearly much more than ours. There was only 3 men and too many of us to count. They had dark hair, dark eyes, and dark skin, yet appeared almost Caucasian.

It became apparent that these men had no good intentions for us, and no one but me cared or noticed. They were controlled like sheep. Blank faced, no emotion, no care, the people around me walked on. No one but myself was awake, alive, and understanding what was happeneing to us.

I needed to do something. Anything. Yet I am a pacifist. I have never stood up for myself. I have never stood up for another. Not once in my adult life, but I needed to do something. No one had any ability to stand up for themselves. They were being controlled by these large men. It was clear that only myself was not affected by them.

I stood up for myself. I fought. It was so unlike the old me, but there are things in life worth giving your life for. And it is life itself, as we are all one. I knew that fighting these men would be the last thing I did in my life, and that if I did not stand up for life, it would be the end for all of us anyways.

I had something in my hand. It had 3 small, and hard, tubes sticking out of the end of a handle. The tubes were different sizes, from a pencil thickness to a broom stick. They were hollow. I took an opportunity, as the men did not expect any of us to fight back. They were behind us and leading us into a room with a locking door.

I jumped on the back of the man who seemed in charge, and I began to attack the man with the instrument in my hand. It was the last effort of life in me, and it took every ounce of mental and physical strength I possesed to stop this man. I felt that it was a futile effort. I did not expect what came next.

As I was on the back of this large man, and hurting him in the neck and back with the tool, he went down. He collapsed. I don’t know if his 2 friends, or myself, was more shocked. Instantly, all of the other people with me, the blank faced, programmed, zombie sheeple, woke up. They finally understood what was happeneing to them, and we took the power.

And then I woke up.

I am sharing this with you now for multiple reasons. First is the clear indication of the cycles of life repeating. Second is the fact that we can all change. The third is the most important. The meaning behind the truth. The programming we all need to shed. The need to stand up for life. Our life. The need to stand up for others. The need to know what is really going on in this world. The need to take chances with what you believe in, what is important to your life, as what is important to you is important to others. The rewards for standing up for life is innumerable and going forwards, I will be fighting for my life and what is important to me.

It’s easy to be thankful for the things you’ve got. It takes guts to give thanks for the things you’ve lost. We grew up believing good wins over bad, so you gave away your heart but the wolves attacked. But then a bigger heart grew back.” – Craig Minowa

Welcome to hell.

If you want to choose this prison as a sentence to pain, then so be it. There are other ways to spend your time here, and for me it is escaping to the mountains.

Life goes on. Things grow. People change. The thing that gets me out of the bed in the morning is my plans. I have plans to do some serious mountains. I need to train. I need to look after myself so that I am able to follow through with what has been set up. And this is what keeps me going.

The people I meet on a day to day basis here in BC is an eye opener. Daily. It is a non-stop deal. I am constantly reminded of my place, where I am, and what life can be to those who take it on their knees.

I love that I have the escape I do. My freedom here is self chosen, and by doing so I am giving up many luxuries that many could not deal with. I do not have a TV. A computer. Not even wifi. My days are spent on foot. I live this life, finding epic daily. I strive to have fun, but also be prepared.

Life is truly what you make it. This place is a prison, but it is the nicest one in the galaxy.

Thursday. Community.

Today is a reflection of my community.

I have been reunited with my son, Jet. He is a little fat, but we will shed some weight on the trails here.

I had a short visit with a great friend of mine.

I went camping.

And I have wrote several blogs, even if I did not post them.

I had a good week, but it is time to wrap this one up, move into my new pad with Jet. And then take him for a walk in our new home.

Let it flow.


Training the whole self for anything requires letting go. You can train yourself to add on muscle, skills, and knowledge. These are add-ons. There is an aspect of training that trains oneself to go with the flow.


Getting into the zone, where intuition leads and instinct follows, is all about removing the blocks that we have built up inside of us. Only once we can truly find our own zone, by letting go, will we be able to build a stable platform in ourselves.


This weekend I removed blocks, to let it flow. Physically, externally, and internally. I am looking forward to a smoother flow.

Community and standing up for your needs.

Yesterday was truly a rest day.


I did not meditate. I did not run. I sorted out the stuff on my brain, out loud, and to my mentor. It was a strange day.

I have been learning gardening from my mentor. I have been preparing to move into the woods with him, in his off grid community that burnt down in the fires of last year. I did not know that this work would become such a reality so fast.


Communities look out for each other. They offer understanding and forgiveness. You must offer the the same back to join. You must have the hope that they are able to return it, without hindering their own lives. How many times do you forgive before you stand your ground?

You should always stand your ground, but taking a step into the Left happens when your own personal safety, and needs, have been hindered by others in your community. Feeling wronged often leads one to lash out. Doing so can destroy the community, and of course yourself.

Tough love is hardest on the one who delt it. This is always the case if the individual is awake and balanced.

Software upgrade?

If your brain is a computer, and your pineal is connecting you to the grid, do you ever need a software upgrade?

The problem with this thinking, that we can somehow better ourselves with training, is that it is wrong. There is an issue within each of us. Such is the nature of humanity. The original sin if you will. We all are corrupt. If you love the bread, do you toss the whole bag when one piece has mold? If you have lived like I have, you don’t.

Every part of us is cherished. No energy can be created, nor destroyed. As many times as we, as this concious energy, have gone through the cycle, our energy is still here, hopefully growing.

We are hardly growing, or have not been. Things are changing. Times are different now. There is a hold, stagnation of sin. Stagnation of previous instinct. The Balance needed between community and the self is as ever present. The shedding of ego must go on for most of us, as we are a survival species, suffering from a catastrophic amnesia. To prevail in any hard time to come, the Balance must be found.

To find your balance on a wall, on a ridge walk, or in your life, it takes great strength. A strength that most of us do not have. Training will hardly improve us enough to make this work. Instead we must throw off the balance by leaning far past centre, into unknown territory, pushing past and letting go of the holds we feel comfortable in.

Am I training to let go? If that is a training at all, then yes. It is not always about a software upgrade to better ourselves, it is about removing the virus. Removing the limiter we place on ourselves.

Today I struggle. I am back to routine, but am dying for more. I feel like I need to be training more, yet there is nothing to be done but wait, reflect, and let go.